Introduction: to have a better understanding and appreciation on the following topic, I strongly encourage the reader to click on the embedded links.
I attended a meeting today to discuss a book dealing with a plethora of sensitive topics that go right to the core of Indian society. The terms and concepts that flew around me were difficult to digest initially– at least for the first ten minutes. Words like child marriage, caste system, Gotra system, honor killings, stoning to death, and blood feuds flew around me. I’m usually not one to shy away from a discussion, especially if it has socio-cultural aspects which touch the psyche of a nation. This time, however, I was truly out of my waters. As I looked around the room, I realized I was one of three non-Indians in the room, and among the three of us, I was the only one not married to an Indian. As far as the topic and personal connection to the society was concerned I stuck out like a sore thumb; all the more reason to keep quiet.
I attended a meeting today to discuss a book dealing with a plethora of sensitive topics that go right to the core of Indian society. The terms and concepts that flew around me were difficult to digest initially– at least for the first ten minutes. Words like child marriage, caste system, Gotra system, honor killings, stoning to death, and blood feuds flew around me. I’m usually not one to shy away from a discussion, especially if it has socio-cultural aspects which touch the psyche of a nation. This time, however, I was truly out of my waters. As I looked around the room, I realized I was one of three non-Indians in the room, and among the three of us, I was the only one not married to an Indian. As far as the topic and personal connection to the society was concerned I stuck out like a sore thumb; all the more reason to keep quiet.
The author was present and read excerpts from her book, including some of her poetry. Brilliantly and sensitively written, it was nevertheless very disturbing. As she read the passages in the dimly-lit room, you could have heard a pin drop. Even if you hadn’t read the book, sufficient background and explanations were provided to be able to appreciate the passages. The discussion and forum that followed was, shall we say, fiery. It started off with a discussion about marriage within your caste and gotra. This naturally led to sharing and debates on marrying outside the gotra, culminating in opinionated discussions on recent, prominent (dis)honor killings that have shocked communities all over the world.
Honor killings are defined as the killing of a family member by other members of the family or social group for alleged dishonor to the family. They are primarily directed towards women and girls. There are numerous prominent cases around the world that jump out at you and unveil a horror that leaves you speechless.
- There is the case of the 16-year-old in Canada who was killed by her father and brother “to save the family pride”. The crime: refusing to wear the hijab covering as traditionally prescribed to Muslim girls.
- Then there is the other case of a 14-year-old in Iran who was accused of adultery within the first year of her marriage and sentenced to death by stoning. Since the sentence could not be carried out until she was 18, she was subjected to mock stoning, in which she was buried to her neck in sand and stoned.
Some countries have classified honor killings as domestic violence. The truth is that it is much more than that. It is violent, yes, but most certainly not confined to the domicile and has ripple effects all over the world.
